Sometimes it is so hard to be a parent.
You read all the books, absorbing all the wisdom, and they still won’t sleep through the night.
You hold their hand and teach them to use their words, and still they turn into biters with vampire-like refluxes every time they get upset at daycare.
You explain wants versus needs, yet they still end up flailing on the floor of Target because they “need” that toy.
You set boundaries and they push limits, breaking their arm jumping off a shed.
You teach them right and wrong and have consequences, and yet they still end up at the party and break curfew.
At every stage of raising these little people, we feel failure as parents. We wonder where we went wrong. We wonder how we ended up in this place. And in all this questioning and self-doubt, we forget that we are all human --- no matter what our age.
We all have good days and bad days, the moments where we feel like following the norm and the moments where we need to rebel. We all have moments where we succeed and moments where we fall short.
The times where I have felt like the best parent are not the times where my kid brought home straight A’s, scored the winning points, or was voted most popular. The times where I know I am doing these kids justice are the times when it feels the hardest.
… when my sister died and they snuggled up next to me asking the hard questions that I tried my best to answer.
... when they were hurt or sick and needed extra kisses and someone to brush their hair back and they came to me for comfort and the reminder that this too shall pass.
… when they see me upset and wrap me a quiet hug to comfort me.
… when they confess and apologize for something they have done wrong, before I even realize it occurred.
… when they show grace to each other, to their friends, and even to me for being less than.
… when they stand up and do the right thing, even when it is difficult.
… when they find refuge and shelter in another trusted adult, instead of me, because I have built the right village to raise them.
These times that feel the hardest are when I am most proud of the people they are becoming – people filled with depth and grace and empathy and courage; people that can have hard conversations, forgive and make their corner of the world a better place.
I’m not looking to raise perfection, I’m just looking to raise good people. None of us have this parenting thing perfected, the best we can do is keep moving forward with faith over fear.
Hi! I'm Jessy, one of the co-owners of The Norway Center Store and co-authors of the book Faith Over Fear: Walking Angie Home. My husband Kyle and I live in an old general store, converted to residence, with our three kids, Ally, Charley and Rad and our German Shephard dog. You will usually find me with paint on my clothes creating my next repurposed piece.